WTF Wednesday: Things about Movies and TV shows I don’t get… Part 1

Hello and welcome to another blog by YOURS TRUELY!

I think I’m having a brain-farting day where all the bloggers’ block I’ve had in the past weeks are just tumbling down and I can blog more than I have in ages.

ANYWAY

Today I was thinking about the random things they try and sell us (not literally) on movies and TV shows that give us the illusion that it’s the norm and when things don’t work out quite the same in reality, we seem to think we’ve done something wrong.

Don’t understand what I’m talking about? Check out some of the things I’ve picked up that make absolutely no sense and convert it to your everyday life…

They have time for everything

I don’t know about you, but if I had to work as a forensic in Miami in the hot sun all day, I will barely have energy to take a bath and sleep when I get home, let alone go out and find some random shmuck to kill, unlike my man Dexter over here.

Movies and TV shows that promote this lie:

Dexter

Supernatural

Iron Man

Batman

You can be pathetic (or a whore, or a geek), it’s ok, hot guys will still want you

Just ask personality-less girls like Bella from Twilight and Anastasia from 50 Shades of Grey. You can dress like a dowdy house-wife, be awkward, not look after yourself and be as fun as a plastic bag filled with needles and random vampires and CEOs will be DYING to date you.

Movies and TV shows that promote this lie:

Twilight

50 Shades of Grey (still going to become a movie)

Pretty Woman

She’s All That

It’s alright to stalk the person you love because when they fall in love with you they will forgive you

I don’t care if you look like Ian Somerhalder, have a yacht and feed me the finest sushi in the land. If you’re going into my room and watching me sleep, standing outside my room and watching me change, I’m going to call the cops on your ass. This is not in ANY way sexy or appealing and will NOT make me fall in love with you!

Movies and TV shows that promote this lie:

Twilight

The Girl Next Door

You’ve got Mail

Love Actually

If you’re going to cause shit, make sure you wear a bulletproof vest, you will be invincible

In lots of movies someone gets shot and you think they’re dead and later you find out they were wearing a bullet-proof vest, so they end up fine.

Ok what a load of hogwash. If the baddies are going to shoot you and they’ve got the training and amazing guns at their disposal, they could shoot you in your head or any other part of your body that’s exposed and you could lose a lot of blood and die anyway. Not to mention the fact that your vest (unless made from Nokia 3310 cellphones) has a 50% chance of failing on you depending on the gun and bullet the person shooting you is using.

PS – I’m joking about the Nokias so please don’t go and make one and try it out.

Movies and TV shows that promote this lie:

Back to the Future

Man With No Name

So have you learnt anything totally useless from movies or TV shows?

There are many more that I will eventually get round to, in the meantime, this is my part 1.

Have an awesome hump day!

♥Cherry♥

Tribute Thursday: The Movie Legends of Halloween

Hey again my darlings!

Today I’m tributing, not the origin of Halloween itself – because there are so many twisted stories out there that I don’t wanna stand on any toes by doing so -, but the legends that have made Halloween what it is today and that’s the slashers of the big screen!

Do you know each one’s story?

Well, you’re lucky I’m here to tell it to you then!

Chucky

Charles Lee “Chucky” Ray is a serial killer and does voodoo for fun and when a cop chases him to a toy store and shoots him, he does a voodoo ritual right before he dies and his soul gets transferred to a “Good Guy” doll, turning him into the cute and loveable little serial killer we all just wanna hug… awwww…

Jason

Jason Voorhees, the son of Pamela Voorhees, was born deformed. He lived with his mother at Camp Crystal Lake (his mother was the camp cook), in the city of Crystal Lake. Jason was bullied incessantly until, in 1957, he tried to prove to the bullies that he could swim and drowned in Crystal Lake… or so they think. Pamela kills a whole bunch of teens to avenge her son, only to get killed eventually. Then, Jason comes back (From living a life as a hillbilly? Chilling with monkeys like Tarzan?) fully grown and out to do what his mother did for him, kill teens. So Sweet.

Michael

Michael Myers was raised in the small, mid-west town of Haddonfield, Illinois. At age 6 Michael murdered his oldest sister, Judith, on Halloween night, because he is a crazy little shit. After being locked up in Smith’s Grove Mental Hospital, Michael (who’s now 21 years old) escapes on October 30. That night he tracks down his baby sister, Laurie Strode (who has been adopted and is oblivious to her violent roots) and proceeds to murder two of her friends. Throughout the entire Halloween series, it’s a cat and mouse game of Michael looking for Laurie, trying to kill her and Laurie trying to run away from him. Eventually he does kill her and he is nowhere to be seen again…

Pinhead

Personally I have no idea who this dude is. I’ve never watched the Hellraiser movies, but apparently Pinhead is the shit. Captain Elliott Spencer became the lead Cenobite (whatever that might be) in 1921 when he opened the Lament Configuration puzzle box. He originally comes to earth to harvest souls. Don’t know how this makes him a badass, but hey.

Freddy

Freddy’s my favourite serial killer, so I’m going to give you his whole story:

In April 1941, a young girl was accidentally locked in the sanitarium of Westin Hills Psychiatric Institute in Springwood over the holidays. The inmates kept her hidden for days. She was raped… hundreds of times. When she was found, she was barely alive. That girl was Amanda Krueger, her child was Freddy – the bastard son of a hundred maniacs.

Frederick Charles Krueger was born in February 1942 and was shifted from one foster home to another throughout his childhood, learning nothing but torment and hatred along the way.

Called Freddy, he was constantly ridiculed for his infamous and brutal conception. It was then he started murdering small animals, and as he grew into adulthood, he turned his masochistic behavior on himself. After suffering abuse from his stepfather for many years, he brutally murdered him with a razor.

Freddy finally returned to his hometown of Springwood and was disgusted to see the picture of a perfect town, full of happy families in their tidy homes. With that jealousy and disgust building up inside him Freddy became one of the most notorious child-killers alive. Finding employment maintaining the boilers at an old steam-plant on the outskirts of town, Freddy would settle down and have a family of his own, all the time plotting his revenge upon life itself.

Whilst working in the plant he went on to construct the first of his imfamous 6 inch bladed gloves. Made from and old glove and four razor sharp blades that he attached to the glove with interlocking metal sections and rivets he began his killing spree, known as the Springfield Slasher. From 1975-1977 he kidnapped and murdered 23 children.

Freddy’s downfall came when his wife discovered the bladed glove and a multiple of newspaper clipping about the child murders in their basement. Despite her tearful assurances that she would not tell what she knew, the paranoid Freddy would go on to throttle his wife in front of his horrified daughter.

Soon afterwards, Freddy was arrested and charged with the murders of his wife and the missing children of the town. However, in their haste, the bungling officers forgot to read Freddy his rights, he was unexpectedly freed on a technicality.

Seeing the threat he posed, the court placed his daughter in an orphanage.

The enraged parents of Springwood, OH then took the law into their own hands. They followed Krueger to a building where he took his victims and ignited it with gasoline into a raging inferno. However, no one expected the end result of this act. Freddy’s soul was so corrupt that it was decided he could be of use to dream demons imprisoned in hell. When he was promised eternal life in the world of dreams, Freddy could hardly refuse. Ever since that night, Krueger has taken his revenge on the parents of Springwood by stalking their children through their dreams. Each time he is able to twist what would seem to be a normal dream into his own brutal imagination’s delight of terror. Some children have escaped thinking they have defeated him, only to have him rise again sometime later. There is only one documented case of Krueger meeting his match. While in hell, he was able to awaken Jason Voorhees, of Camp Crystal Lake infamy. Freddy was then able to use Jason to strike fear into the kids of Elm Street. This plan backfired when the masked killer could not be shut down. This led to a big confrontation both in the dream and real world. Freddy still lingers in the pits of hell with no indication if or when he will return.

Hope you enjoyed my tribute to the greatest Slashers of all time!

Happy Thursday

♥Cherry♥