WTF Wednesday: The 411 on The Friendzone

Good morning and happy hump day my people!

Well I guess it’s only hump day for those who have someone to hump, which brings me to today’s topic.

The Friendzone


Reading on sites like 9gag about how depressed guys seem to be that the girls in their lives happen to “friend”-zone them, pisses me off to an extreme that is almost lethal.

Alright, I get the whole Scumbag Sally thing where a chick would blow you off just to be with some fucking idiot who happens to have big biceps and a six-pack who treats her like shit, I get how that would piss you off and frankly, she’s an asshole that doesn’t deserve you. Hell, I’d be pissed off if a guy I liked dissed me for some hot blonde bimbo, but you get over it and you move on. What’s the point of sitting, moping over a chick that won’t be with you because you’re too “nice”?

I’m here to tell you a secret.

Girls aren’t dissing you because you’re too nice. They’re not dating you for one of 3 simple reasons.

1 – She’s not sexually attracted to you, but likes your company and would like you longer in her life than some douchebag who will most probably just fuck around with her heart and she dumps at the end of the day.

2- You’re a creepy stalker fuck that won’t stop calling her, texting her, visiting her or facebooking her.

3 – She is actually into you, but too shy to make a move, so maybe you should take the initiative.


So here’s an idea guys, next time you think a girl is friendzoning you, speak to her. Ask her what’s up, because if you don’t then at the end of the day you’re just going to piss one another off.

A girl isn’t a vending machine. Inserting “nice” into her isn’t going to have “sexual favours” pop out on the other end.


Oh and the Scumbag Sallys out there – if you’re going to blow your friend off just for an asshole that you know is going to break your heart (and trust me you know this beforehand), don’t get your friend’s hopes up or go running to him for a shoulder to cry on, because you’re being a bitch.

I once knew this chick who would go and screw around with other guys and when they dumped her at a club she would phone her friend who would then pick her up, console her while she cried and hold her hair back while she puked.

That’s Friendzone level infinity.

So when you have it bad, just think about my little story.

Have an awesome hump day and LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP!!




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